Most relationships tend to end because of the mismatch in the sexual energy. The best way to know if your partner has the same sexual energy includes; adapting to your partner’s preferences, knowing that sexual energy is not libido, and making sure that the sexual energy is set. Most couples end up breaking up because their sexual energy do not match. They end up cheating on each other to have some fun or sex with someone at the same level. Some are in a relationship but are not happy with how their sex life is going. They fear being able to tell their partners that they are not sexually pleased with them. You should always try to be with someone on the same sexual level as you instead of being in an unhappy relationship. Some of the things you should know are; Sexual Energy Does Not Mean Libido You will often find out that some couples think a lot about sex but do not want to engage. Some may have a lot of energy for sex but do not feel like they want to participate in sexual activities. Some of these may be a hindrance in the relationship. You may want to compromise, but at the same time, one person can end up not being happy after the whole sexual activity or after making out with their significant other. You need to know that just because you do not have the energy for sex does not mean that your libido is low. According to Nappi et al. (2010), some hormones make the sexual energy diminish. You may be in the mood for sex and even think about it, but still, your libido may be low. Trying To Adapt to Your Partner’s Preferences Just because you want to find someone with the same sexual energy as you is not the same as getting to have someone with the same sexual preference. You can always adapt to your partner’s preference, and that’s the best thing about it. It is okay to have some limits that you’ve always thought that you can never cross. However, at the same time, it is always great to be flexible and see what would happen if you cross them. Would you have fun crossing it, or would you regret it? That depends on whether or not you have the courage to cross the limits. You can start by talking to your partner about what you love. Let them know about the sexual activities and positions that work best for you and which one you love the most. Once they know what you want and love, they can always try and compromise the whole situation and incorporate most of the things into your sexual games. Once they see how much pleasure you have when the both of you are making out, it will turn them on, and they will get to love the whole experience. You should also try to talk with your partner and get to know what they’ve always wanted in their sexual life and would love you to do for them. It is always about compromising and trying to incorporate some of their wants into your sexual life. You may notice that both of you have different preferences, but that doesn’t mean that your sexual energy is not the same. The best thing is to try and cross the limits that you have set and make some things that your partner does to be part of your life. In some way, you will be surprised by how the events will take a turn of events, and you will love what they love. It is always about understanding what you love and mixing it with your sexual life. Your Sexual Energy Should Be Set As earlier stated, once you change your sexual preference, it will be a response to others’ desires. You get to learn something different about your partner’s erotic side. According to Alexander et al. (2006), your libidos may vary. It may be high, and at times, it may be below. The good thing is even though the libido is fluctuating, the sexual energy will not vary but will remain the same. This means that it is always difficult to change your sexual energy. It will always remain the same no matter what you try, as it is part of your personality. Your sexual energy is always set, so it is better to have someone whose sexual energy is the same as yours. It will always be great to have someone with who you can talk about dirty stuff and not judge you by your way of thinking. Harris (1995) stated that dirty talking is one of the most distinguishing features of sex. Someone who, when you introduce a certain topic, and it is all about explicit content, will be so excited and have fun with the whole idea and even contribute to the talks. This person is likely to be of the same sexual energy as you. If you are a person who does not like talking so much about sex, you should also look for the same type of person as you. You can vibe and not judge others by what they talk about. This will make it easy for couples to be comfortable because they understand each other well enough. Conclusion If you are into explicit content, it is better to find someone who is at the same level as you and vibe with them. You are likely to be very comfortable with them. If you do not like talking about the dirty content, it would be nice if you find someone who is like you. At times, the opposite might attract you, but in most cases, you will not like the feeling of being judged by your partner. The best thing is to be on the safer side and be with a person you know you are very comfortable with and can do anything with them. Making a relationship work is always a hard task to do, do not try and make it more difficult for you by choosing someone who is the complete opposite of you. References Alexander, J. L., Dennerstein, L., Burger, H., & Graziottin, A. (2006). Testosterone and libido in surgically and naturally menopausal women. Women’s Health, 2(3), 459-477. Harris, D. (1995). Dirty Talk. The Baffler, (7), 91-97. Nappi, R. E., Martini, E., Terreno, E., Albani, F., Santamaria, V., Tonani, S., … & Polatti, F. (2010). Management of hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women: current and emerging therapies. International journal of women’s health, 2, 167.