Harris, D. (1995) states that dirty talking is one of the most distinguishing features of sex. Talking dirty activates the brain and stimulates the body. People who talk dirty are such an obsession, but this is only if you know how to. During or before sex, talking dirty is not that important, but it helps bring out the erotic side of people. However, talking dirty is not for porn stars, even though the media has led us to believe so. You can also learn how and be good at talking dirty. As a lady, you want your man obsessed with you both on the phone and in person. When a man is obsessed, he loses control over his feelings about the object of his obsession. So what does obsession mean to a lady? It simply means that the lady will get intensive attention, repeated calls and texts, and constant reassurance. These are just some of the characteristics of an obsessed man. The lady will also feel like she has power over the man as she will be treated like a queen. Talking dirty to a man is a powerful tool to keep your man obsessed with you and only you. Moreover, it will keep a man talking about you even if you’re not around. This article may just be the thing for you to do it right. Be Yourself Perhaps you’re afraid your partner expects a porn star in bed, saying all the nastiest, raunchiest things unimaginable. Unless porn is your thing, this isn’t the case. Don’t feel pressured to be a wanton sex maniac in bed, as dirty talk has nothing to do with this. The beauty of sex is the uniqueness that comes with each person. If you’re feeling demure, go with that instinct. If you’re feeling rather naughtier than usual, play with that, there is no right or wrong path. Trust that your partner wants to please you, not anyone else. Relax You must remember that intimate and satisfying sex is not a performance, nor is talking dirty; just go with the flow. When it comes to sex, it is so vulnerable that it has all our insecurities flaring up. We then worry about how our bodies look, whether we are letting out sexy moans, and many other things cross our minds. So much so that letting a word out becomes difficult. Try new things and say silly things, and no one is seated there judging every move you make or the things you say, so take the risk. Focus on Your Partner If you just can’t seem to tap into your erotic center, focus all your energy on your partner. Don’t try too hard to please them with dirty talk. Think how badly you want them, how attractive you find them, and how good it feels to be around them. Just tell them that and how madly you love them. This will help you go on better, and within no time, you’ll forget about your worries. Have Sexy Thoughts Sex needs your concentration and focus. It can be frustrating when your mind wanders off during sex. So keep your head in the game. Take a step back from sex and think about what turns you on; something that he does that gets you going. You can think of a fantasy you’ve always had. The words will flow from you when you’re really in the zone. Say the first thing that will come to mind whenever you’re ready to talk. Tell Them What You Want Being told what to do in bed is dangerously sexy as men like to be inspired to blow their minds even further. So, stop worrying about being viewed as rather demanding by your partner. You are so nervous about impressing your partner that you forget about yourself. Think about your sexual needs, tell them then see what happens. Also, note that if the man doesn’t care about your needs in bed, that’s not someone you want to be sleeping with. Reminisce With Each Other Bringing up a memory you shared is just another way of talking dirty. Perhaps the first day you made out and everything in between. Maybe you attended a party and saw him dancing with another girl, which got you jealous. This will bring up all the sex imprints you’ve had with each other in your minds and take you to the bedroom. These will also increase the want for you to have sex. Ask Them Questions Talking dirty is not all about telling your partner what it is you need to be done for you. It should be a conversation where you ask them what they also want and need you to do. Ask them how badly they want you and about their hottest fantasy. Your partner might be a little nervous about talking dirty, and they might need a little help. Enact a Fantasy Try out a little role play. They say the most adventurous sex happens when you are free from the boundaries of real life. You can come out of your head and pretend that maybe you were secret lovers and are meeting for the first time. Your partner can pretend to be a police officer giving you a speeding ticket while acting suspiciously. Possibilities are endless. This may not be for everyone, but it is great to try new things to spice up things. Try Sexting Levine, D. (2013) defines sexting as the process by which one shares sexually suggestive pictures and messages through mobile phones or media. It always starts on the phone telling your partner what you what them to do to you or what you will do to them in bed. Sexting is an amazing way to practice as you build up your confidence to talk dirty face to face. You can send your partner naughty texts while at work or some naughty pictures when they are not around you. This shows them how badly you want them. Less Can Mean More Talking dirty is not the most important thing as it may though seem. Every encounter has its unique tone and feeling. Let the mood and experience dictate whether you should talk. Sometimes the hottest and most memorable sex is devoid of words. Dirty talk is not a necessity. Perhaps when you’re in a place of such deep pleasure, all you can do is moan. You may be feeling so alive that conjuring up a sentence can be difficult. Conclusion Talking dirty might be the key to keeping your man obsessed with you. But again, it is not a necessity. Yes, it could spice up things in the bedroom, but you need to think about your partner’s likes and wants. They might be the shy ones who are not very fond of dirty talk, but with time you can introduce it and work up to make them love it just as you do. References Harris, D. (1995). Dirty Talk. The Baffler, (7), 91-97. Levine, D. (2013). Sexting: a terrifying health risk… or the new normal for young adults?. Journal of Adolescent Health, 52(3), 257-258.